


Love like war (English version)

by Rosesnfeathers



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst, Cheating, Dirty Talk, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Smut, Zerrie and Sophiam are only briefly mentionned, but it turns into fluff, pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 02:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4589592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosesnfeathers/pseuds/Rosesnfeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t care? I don’t care?! You think I don’t care about the fact that I learned you were engaged at the same time as the rest of the fucking world Zayn? That I wasn’t important enough to for you to tell me about it before anyone else? That I think this is the worst fucking idea you could’ve had?! You don’t care because all you can think about is yourself!”</p><p>The anger is suddenly back in full force, the words “worst idea” spinning in his mind, over and over again.</p><p>“All i can think about is myself? Really Liam? Who left me completely alone once he was single to go out and get drunk almost every night? Who completely ignores me now that he had find himself the perfect girlfriend? It’s you Liam! You left so you didn’t deserve to know anything about what was happening into my life!”</p><p>Or the one where Liam and Zayn fights, until they're not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love like war (English version)

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this last year, in french first, and it is one of my favorite work because for once, it's really angsty and smutty instead of cute and fluffy. Written waaaay before Zayn broke off the engagement and I was in the middle of translating it when he did soooo. Decided to share it with you all anyway.

Her name is Sophia. Liam had introduced her to them with so much pride in his eyes, Zayn had felt sick with it all. He couldn’t deny how pretty she was, just like Danielle was and just like every single girl Liam had been with since they were in the band. Sophia had such a delicate voice and a bright smile and she looked completely delighted to finally meet them all.

With Danielle, it was different. With Danielle, Zayn was certain of how much she hated him. She had a strong personality, Danielle and it was pretty clear from the start how hard it was for them to get along. Liam had tried his best for them to be friends but nope, not happening. Zayn was ready to do pretty much everything to please Liam, but being friends with Danielle was simply too much to ask for.

And then she was gone, in a storm of brown curls and high heels clicking on the hard floor of their hotel somewhere in the states. Zayn had kept himself close to Liam, not even hiding the smile on his lips, rolling a cigarette between his fingers to keep them from touching Liam and comfort him the way he truly wanted to. He wanted to touch him to prove that she may be gone, but Zayn, he was going to stay by Liam’s side forever. _Right next to you, Liam_. It wasn’t a lie.

After Danielle’s departure, he started to slowly drift away from Perrie as well, preparing his own break up, finally ready to tell Liam the truth and to open his heart to him. Liam though, wasn’t exactly available at that time. He was going out pretty much every night, getting drunk and bringing people to his hotel room more often than not. Zayn was worried sick and had all the reasons to be because one day, Sophia was here in her bright pink outfit and her blinding smile. She was all curves and softness, she was everything Zayn wasn’t.

As she was smiling at them, comfortably nestled into Liam’s side, Zayn was closing his hands in tight fists by his sides to stop himself, his jaw also closed so tight his cheeks were cramping with the force of it. Then, he felt an arm around his waist, like an anchor, like some kind of lifebuy saving him from drowning. _Louis_. He had held on tight to him and let himself being pulled into clubs, tattoos parlours, and most of all into their tour bus, "Bus 1 for life!", late at night where both of them were smoking away their problems.

It was Zayn’s way of shaking Liam a little bit, to show him that he was about to lose him, as a friend first because his feelings were still burried too deep back then. But it didn’t work. Liam was still on cloud nine with Sophia and Zayn felt sick everytime he heard the word “Sophiam” being pronouned somewhere.

He couldn’t hate her though, she was the sweetest girl really, and Liam seemed really happy with her. It was easy to hate Danielle because he knew she hated him too but Sophia? Sophia was just soft smiles and giggles and it was impossible really, to hate her or to be mean to her.

Liam did try to reach for Zayn a few times, but it was too hard for him to let him in. He tried inviting him to the cinema, asked him if he wanted to look at his new comics, wanted to play FIFA. Zayn kept declining and refusing to spend some time with him so eventually, Liam just stopped trying. Zayn felt the last few remaining pieces of his heart shattered then. And he knew it was his own damn fault. He felt numb with all the loud noises ringing inside his head but the truth is that nobody but ourselves ever notice how much racket a broken heart can make.

He tried then, to play his last card, even though Louis had told him how much of a bad idea it was.  It was his last hope, his last chance to shake Liam a little bit. Love could be like a war sometimes and even if lately, he felt like he was fighting that war mostly against himself, against his own feelings, he needed to try one last thing to win Liam’s heart.

 

-*-

 

“Congratulations on the engagement, Zayn!”

Louis was right, it’s the worst idea he could have had but in some sort of twisted kind of way, it’s also the best.

It’s the worst because he is more than tired of answering all the questions about his engagement to Perrie. It shouldn’t be possible to keep himself from rolling his eyes that much, he is starting to have a headache from it. But, it’s also a good idea because of Liam’s reaction when he had announced it to them or his face every single time the subject is brought up in an interview. He shouldn’t enjoy the sadness or hurt on Liam’s face but it’s kind of exactly the reaction he wanted, a proof that Liam is really affected by it all.

But Liam is avoiding Zayn, not even looking at him and barely talking to him so, Zayn is back to the start and that fake engagement is the worst idea he ever had.

 

-*-

 

A few nights after the announcement, Louis and him are alone in Zayn’s hotel room. Niall and Harry went out together and Liam had left earlier with his phone glued to his ear and an expression of pure sadness upon his normally joyful features. Louis and him are both laying on Zayn’s bed, watching some kind of American reality show, which Zayn has no idea what it is about.

“He’s completely ignoring me,” mumbles Zayn against the fabric of Louis’ shirt.

“Well who’s fault is that? You’re engaged Zayn! I told you that it was a bad idea, you really thought some fake engagement would help you get Liam?”

“Maybe? I don’t know? Can you stop yelling the word engagement at me please?”

“Well that’s what you are, pet. Engaged.”

Louis’ last words are soft though, and the way he pulls Zayn closer to him is full of tenderness. He lets Zayn cuddle with him and he pushes a hand into his hair to help him relax. He even drops a kiss on the top of Zayn’s head, like some sort of apologies for the way he jus talked to him. But someone knocks at the door and Louis’ is gone, leaving Zayn alone on the bed and just a little bit cold suddenly.

Zayn hears the door being opened but nobody talks, neither Louis or the other person standing in the corridor and then, the door is soflty closed like nothing happened. But when Zayn rolls onto his side to ask Louis who it was, it’s not Louis who is standing in the room with him anymore, no. It’s Liam.

He is looking uncomfortable at the end of Zayn’s bed with his hands deep in the pockets of his grey joggers, his white t-shirt a bit too big even on his muscular frame. His black snapback is a bit askew on his head like he keeps removing it to run nervous fingers into his hair.

He looks so soft and warm (and sad) that Zayn needs to stop himself from just standing up and hold him in his arms.

“Hey,” just a soft whisper between bright pink lips and he sounds so shy even though he is the one who has been avoiding Zayn for the last three days.

“Hey.” and Zayn’s answer is just as soft and he lets himself drop back onto his back, his eyes on the white ceiling above him. Then he feels the bed lower under Liam’s weight as he is climbing right next to him but still too far away.

“You okay?” he asks without looking at him.

Zayn just shrugs, staying silent. He is suddenly angry at Liam, feels the burning of it in stomach. Why now? Why is he coming back now? Why does he seems to care for Zayn again all of sudden? He needed him those last few days, he needed him and he was always away talking on the phone with Sophia. Why is he coming back when Zayn just wanted to be left alone for once?

He knows that his mind right now is just full of contradictions. That all he wants is for Liam to hold him in his arms and that at the same time he wants him to leave. He chooses to stay quiet to keep that sudden fury hidden inside of him.

“Must be annoying answering all those questions about the wedding, right?” Another shrug from Zayn, then a sad sigh leaving Liam’s lips because of his silence.

The only sound is the buzzing of the television in front of them, buzzing that is also going through Zayn’s veins and it was suddenly too much, “Why do you even care, Liam?!”

And he is sitting on the bed now, facing a surprised Liam with his mouth wide open and his eyebrows raised up almost tho the rim of his snapback, “But I do Zayn I--,”

“No you don’t! Stop lying to me!”

And _bang_. It’s like his own anger had quickly made it’s way to Liam because they are both standing at the end of the bed without even noticing, facing each other and they are also yelling at each other. And just as fast as the anger flaring inside of him, suddenly Zayn just wants to hide under the sheets of his bed with his hands against his ears because no, Liam being angry at him, it’s just too much, it hurts too much.

“I don’t care? _I_ don’t care?! You think I don’t care about the fact that I learned you were engaged at the same time as the rest of the fucking world Zayn? That I wasn’t important enough to for you to tell me about it _before_ anyone else? That I think this is the worst fucking idea you could’ve had?! _You_ don’t care because all you can think about is yourself!”

The anger is suddenly back in full force, the words “worst idea” spinning in his mind, over and over again.

“All i can think about is myself? Really Liam? Who left me completely alone once he was single to go out and get drunk almost every night? Who completely ignores me now that he had find himself the perfect girlfriend? It’s you Liam! You left so you didn’t deserve to know anything about what was happening into my life!”

“I didn’t leave you Zayn I --”

That lie is Zayn’s breaking point, setting fire into his lungs and all over his limbs. He takes a step closer to Liam and with his hands right on his chest he pushes him once, twice, three times. Each one to emphasise his words, “You. Left. Me!"

Liam’s back is against the wall now, his eyes wide with surprise, no more traces of anger in his beautiful brown eyes.

“I waited for you to realize for _years_ now Liam, to open your eyes, right after Danielle. I waited for you to realize I was the one for you, that I was here for you. I waited for you to realize Perrie was nothing to me, nothing compared to what you were to me, to what you _are_ to me. And all you did was find yourself another girl. You left me Liam, so don’t try to make me believe that you suddenly care about me!”

The anger turns into that heavy kind of sadness pushing against his ribs and tears are rolling down his cheeks, now. He wipes them roughly with the sleeve of his sweater and takes a step back, away from Liam, turning his back at him to avoid the pity that must be filling his eyes right now.

But Liam’s fingers are wrapping around Zayn’s wrist to hold him back, “Liam, please. Let me go.” He feels so weak suddenly, all his strength gone at the same time of the anger in his veins. All he wants is to sleep now and for Liam to go away and leave him alone, it was easy before, why now that he really wants him away, Liam doesn’t want to let go.

And he does, he does let go of his wrist but only to wrap his arms around Zayn and to turn him around. Those strong arms are suddenly holding him tightly, like he doesn't want Zayn to run away and lips are on his, _Liam’s_ lips.

Zayn knows that he should push Liam away, with the fight they just had, kissing is probaly not the best solution but he couldn’t deny any of Liam’s kisses even if the world was ending.

It’s a violent kiss, a biting sort of kiss with bruising fingertips and even more bruised lips. It’s full of intent and lust, like Liam is trying to prove something just with his mouth and his hands but Zayn is willing to have a few bruises if it means that he can finally enjoy the taste of Liam’s lips.

He is the one now, being pushed against the wall with Liam’s body flush against his own and he is fisting at the fabric of Liam’s shirt to keep him close, because he never wants him to walk away from him again. He feels Liam's hands on his hips and over his ribs, on his shoulders and neck and even sometimes against his cheeks, like he can’t decide where to put his hands, like he wants to touch every part of Zayn at the same time.

He finally settles them on his waist but only to roll his hips against Zayn’s and to make him feel how hard he is under the thin fabric on his old joggers. With that delicious contact, Liam’s mouth leave his and they are looking into each other’s eyes, both panting with red cheeks and even redder lips. Zayn needs to know what is happening, is it just a way to shut him up? Why Liam had pushed him against the wall to kiss him senseless? Why does his hands are now on Zayn’s belt buckle, trying to open it?

Zayn needs to know that the kiss is more than a way for Liam to make him understand that he didn’t left him. Zayn needs to know because the growing hope burning inside his chest is probably the only bit of it left inside of him and he can’t let it consume him. He won’t survive his heart being broken by Liam’s hands again, by Liam’s eyes and most of all by Liam’s lips that he finally can feel against his own after wanting it for so long. He is not strong enough anymore to survive being rejected.

He puts his palms against Liam’s chest and pushes him away from him. Zayn needs to put some distance between them to clear his mind.

”Liam,” barely a whisper, his voice suddenly so weak because of all the confusion, because of the want sitting heavily at the bottom of his stomach. He is shaking his head but Liam is completely blinded by his own desire, kissing and biting at the skin of Zayn’s neck and he can hear him muttering some words against his throat, “so long Zayn, wanted you for so long.”

Zayn grabs Liam by the longer strands of hair at the back of his head and he pulls a bit roughly to hoist him up and look into his eyes, his eyes almost black with arousal but also so much sincerity. And it hurts Zayn to his very core to see such honesty in Liam’s eyes, like those words, like wanting Zayn, is the only real thing he ever felt for all those years.

And Liam keeps quiet, only biting into his bottom lip, almost raw with all the kisses and the roughness of Zayn’s stubble, in silence he just nods, once, looking straight into Zayn’s eyes. He nods and he puts his hand right on top of Zayn’s heart. And Zayn, he swears that right in that moment, he felt his heart catch on fire and those flames are going right through his veins, through his bones even. Desire and anger are mixing together under the warmth of Liam’s plam and he let his body ignite with it all.

He reverses their position then, pushing Liam against the wall he was leaning against just a few moments ago, putting his arms on each side of Liam’s head, caging him against the hard surface and kissing him. He is in charge now, and he is so, so angry at Liam but he is also going crazy with how much he wants him that everything is a blur of kisses and bites and bruises on burning skin.

He grabs at Liam’s wrists then, pining them against the wall above his head and he stops kissing him. For a few painful moments he leans against Liam’s ear, taking a tiny little bite on his lobe and he rolls his hips firmly against Liam’s before whispering in a voice even him can’t recognize, “I’m going to make you regret keeping those feelings from me, Liam.”

One hand is still holding Liam’s wrists tightly, while the other one is going down slowly from his wrist to his shoulder and then his side, his waist, memorizing each curve of the body that is finally his for tonight. He goes straight to Liam’s cock, squeezing him through the fabric of his pants, enjoying the groan leaving his lips and the way he is trembling against Zayn’s hand. He tries to free himself from the painful hold Zayn still has on his wrists so he removes his hand from Liam’s cock and takes just a tiny step back. The only part where he is touching Liam is now that vice grip around his wrists.

“If you keep moving, I’ll stop. You can moan, and groan and whimper all you want. You can even scream but I want you to hold still, understand?”

He looks at Liam’s throat and he swallows painfully, nodding his head stiffly but his eyes are so dark that Zayn knows he is totally on board with that little dominant side of him. With his hand Zayn slowly removes Liam’s sweatpants, pulling one side, then the other, repeating the motion until they fall onto the floor, pooling around Liam’s ankles and leaving him gloriously naked from the waist down.

Zayn can’t help the whimper leaving his mouth at the sight of Liam being completely bare under his sweatpants, his cock, hard with the head as red as Liam’s mouth, already leaking some precome just from being held like this against the wall. Zayn buries his face against Liam’s neck to calm down a little, to tongue at his birthmark and leave a few marks along the way.

Liam is still squirming under him, trying to free his hands so Zayn stops. Taking a step back, to his own disappointment, even letting go of Liam’s wrists. He looks at Liam with a challenge in his golden eyes, even though they are probably as black as Liam’s right now. “Zaaaayn,” Liam all but whines, his arms still above his head even though Zayn is not holding him anymore.

Zayn is having a hard time keeping himself away from Liam. Liam with his hair a right mess from Zayn’s fingers, his snapback forgotten on the floor of the hotel room, his pants around his ankles with his hard, leaking cock resting against the white fabric of his white t-shirt. He is panting, his cheeks red with arousal and his eyes shining with want. And Zayn is the reason for this, for this perfect picture standing right in front of him. Fuck.

So he takes a step forward and with the tip of his fingers, he slowly caresses Liam’s thighs, letting his fingers run into the coarse hair decorating them, smiling when he feels goosebumps raising all over the soft, tender flesh. One of his hands find it’s way back around Liam’s wrists, still above his head while the other one is now playing with the hair leading from Liam’s navel to his the base of his cock. He is touching lightly, almost every part of Liam’s surrounding his length, surrounding the place he wants Zayn the most.

“I told you to stay still, didn’t I? Do you want me to stop Liam?”

A quick shake of his head is Zayn’s only answer to his question, from left to right, his eyes wide with concentration, with the need to stay still under Zayn’s soft touches. Letting go of his wrists another time, Zayn helps Liam get rid of his t-shirt and he takes him by the hand, leading him to the bed and pushes him on it.

Liam tries to give himself a quick squeeze, probably to relieve some of the need and pain he is feeling but just a call of his name, more of a groan than anything, is enough for Liam to obediently put his hands above his head again, resting them against the head board of the king sized bed.

Once he is fully naked himself, Zayn walks to his luggage and finds what he wants, a small tube of lube and a few condoms that he brings back to the bed with him. He puts them on the bedside table before climbing on Liam, giving him one lingering kiss, “If you let me do whatever I want to you Liam, you’re never going to leave this room again.

Without a word, Liam just rolls his hips up against Zayn's and when he answers back with a thrust of his own, Liam lets his head fall back against the pillows and closes his eyes. Zayn leans closer to him, running his thumb over Liam’s bottom lip, the one driving him completely insane since maybe day one.

Liam opens his eyes then, heavy eyelids over irises no longer brown but completely darkened with want. He opens his eyes and lets his tongue, as pink as delicious bubble gum, run over the pad of Zayn’s thumb before completely sucking it into his eager mouth.

“I need you to talk to me Li, okay? While i’m opening myself up for your cock, I want to hear your voice.”

Liam slowly nods his head at Zayn’s words, looking drunk on the sound of his voice. But the word his speaks is nothing like Zayn thought it would be, “Perrie?” and it’s a question.  Like “Does she still matter to you?” or “Should we do this?” or even “Do you love her?”

Zayn can only answer that question with a one of his own, so he says “Sophia?” and what Liam says is enough for him to splutter some lube all over his fingers and slowly circling his hole with one trembling finger ; “Not a problem anymore.”

Since when? Why? How? So many questions are running around into Zayn’s mind right now, but he silences them by pushing his index finger into himself, by looking at this beautiful boy laying still under him, his body unmoving but his eyes full of want.

“I asked you to talk to me, Liam. Please. Tell me for how long you have wanted this.”

He feels Liam’s hips bucking into his own at those words but he stops him by pushing his other hand flat against his stomach. Asking him again to stay still but this time, with his touch only.

“For so long. Too long. I thought Danielle knew about it. But… But I never thought you could want me back so I kept it to myself. It was easier then being rejected by you. But Perrie and the engagement and… It was just so much. It was even worst than rejection. I’m not even in love with Sophia. I can’t be in love with her when I love you so much...”

Zayn can’t move, all of sudden, his finger slips out of him and he is completely speechless, holding himself completely still on top of Liam. He asked him to talk yes, but he never thought Liam would just bare his heart completely to Zayn. A wall had just fallen between them, a wall of boundaries and limits Zayn had imposed to himself. And it just crumbled to the ground with the force of Liam’s words.

“Liam…”

He had closed his eyes while he was talking to Zayn, like he was scared of him, of the impact of what he was saying to him. He slowly opens them again, giving a shrug of his shoulders like it’s no big deal all he just said to him.

The lube and condoms are long forgotten on the bed  and all Zayn wants right now is to kiss Liam, is to feel those beautiful words he just spoke against his own lips. He wants to swallow them all to never forget them, to get them tattooed somewhere on him. Because Liam loves him. And he loves Liam so much.

He lets go of his wrists to hold his face into his hands, leaving lube on his cheeks and none of them seems to care where Zayn’s fingers were a few moments ago. Liam kisses back and he finally, finally wraps his arms around Zayn’s waist holding him almost painfully close to his own body, whispering “Can I touch you now?” right against his mouth because he doesn’t want to stop kissing him.

They kiss like that for so long, until Zayn is sure his lips are bruised a nice shade of red, almost purple even. They kiss until Liam’s hands leaves Zayn’s waist and he hears the bottle of lube being opened again, until he feels fingers against his hole.

Liam’s fingers are so much bigger than his own and when he first pushes the tip of one of them slowly, almost painfully it’s with so much care. It’s like Zayn is something precious he needs to take care of. Everything is so soft and gentle that Zayn just forgets everyhing else.

He forgets his earlier need to punish Liam, all of this is useless now because Liam is making him feel like the most important thing in the world and that, this is what matters the most. _Maybe next time_ , Zayn can’t help but wonder, maybe next time i’ll tied him up to the bed and do whatever I want to him.

One finger, then two and then finally three. The room completely silent apart from the filthy melody of them panting into each other’s mouth. Only a dirty kind of lullaby, the sound of their hearts beating hard and fast into their chests. If Zayn had thought that his heart was broken before, he is feeling like it’s finally whole again under Liam’s soft, tender touches. With his palm right against Liam’s chest, Zayn feels the delicious vibrato of Liam’s own heart beat. It’s like even in a silent room, both of them can harmonize together anyway, with other parts of themselves then their voices, like their heartbeats, their whimpers and moans and even the quick stuttering sound of their catching breathes.

When Liam is certain that Zayn is ready, he removes his fingers and he looks up at him, asking for permission without any words. Zayn nods his head bringing Liam’s lips to his own again. He is trying to calm down his own heart but also to breath a bit slower, to relax just a little because Liam is about to fuck him, _finally_.

His eyes are closed and he is resting his palms against Liam’s chest again. He feels Liam move under him and he hears the ripping sound of the condom and the bottle of lube being opened again. Zayn is a nervous wreck and he doesn’t know if he is shaking from nerves or from arousal.

He feels it then, the head of Liam’s cock against his hole, one hand warm and steady against Zayn’s waist. He hears his soft words of encouragement, because it’s such a Liam thing to do, to be gentle and so soft with Zayn as he is pushing his cock inside of him. Once he is fully inside, once Zayn is sitting completely on top of Liam with him all the way inside of him, Liam tickles a few fingers under Zayn’s chin. When their eyes meet, as Zayn is trying to adjust to the fullness he suddenly feels and enjoy, Liam whispers softly to him, “I want to know if I’m hurting you. I want you to tell me and I’ll stop. Okay babe?”

“Not anymore Liam, it doesn’t hurt anymore.” Liam knows, straight away that Zayn isn’t speaking about their current activity. That he is talking about his heart, as cheesy as it is. Liam’s answering smile at those words is enough though, enough for Zayn to completely relax and let him roll his hips on top of Liam, moaning with the wonderful feeling of Liam filling him up.

It’s enough for Liam to do the same, to roll his hips roughly into Zayn’s tight heat and his rhythm goes quicker and harder and his grip around Zayn’s waist gets tighter and he prays for those fingers to leave purple marks all over his dark skin. Zayn is meeting every single one of Liam’s thrusts, holding himself up with his hands flat against Liam’s chest.

He starts trembling, the closer he gets to his peak of arousal, and he can’t hold up anymore. His arms are too weak and his thighs are shaking on each side of Liam’s.

He lets himself fall on Liam’s chest and the change of angle is perfect and he suddenly can’t move anymore with how good it feels and how hard and fast Liam keeps fucking into him. Each thrust makes him want to scream until his voice gives out, “Liam,” is the only thing he manages to whisper into Liam’s ear though, and to his own dismay, he stops moving completely.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to slow down babe? You just feel so good.”

“Don’t stop. Fuck. Please don’t stop,” Zayn says, rolling his hips on top of Liam, pulling a delicious groan out of him. But Liam pulls him off of him, sliding out of Zayn and pushing him softly for him to lay on the bed next to him

“Turn on your side, love.”

Zayn does what Liam wants, can’t refuse him anything when he looks at him with such tenderness in his eyes and when his voice is dripping with how much love he feels for Zayn. He’s pretty sure that after today, it would be impossible to say no to Liam ever again. He lays on his side, his back to Liam and his face to the wall,

Zayn feels Liam slipping an arm under him, his palm flat against his chest and the other one goes between his thighs, pulling his leg up a little before sliding back into him as swiftly as if he never left, as if it’s the only place where he belongs.

And it’s so much more gentle that way, and Zayn feels almost trapped in Liam’s arms but he never felt safer before. And it’s deliciously slow, how he rolls his hips against Zayn, how he is fucking into him. No. How they are making love.

Zayn twines his fingers with Liam’s against his chest and he just enjoys every single drag of Liam’s cock in him, how full he feels, full of Liam, full of love. Liam’s finger nails are biting almost painfully in the soft skin of his thighs, like he is grounding himself, in a way, to keep himself from snapping his hips too hard into Zayn. Liam’s lips are against the skin of his neck and sometimes he feels his teeth biting gently into his flesh.

Zayn’s head is spinning with all the emotions crashing into him. How loved he feels, wanted, needed. “Shouldn’t have happened that way,” he mutters into the pillow. Just a soft whisper but of course, _of fucking course_ Liam hears him and he stops completely.

“What?” and there is so much sadness in Liam’s voice, so much regret and he is starting to pull away but Zayn quickly stops him, throwing his arm behind himself and closing his hand around Liam’s hip.

“I wanted to be the one driving you crazy with want. I wanted you to regret lying to me, I wanted to fu --”

The end of that sentence quickly dies in his throat as Liam starts pounding into him again and Zayn feels his smile now against the sweaty skin of his neck and he even feels Liam’s laugh, low in his stomach.

“Next time, yeah?”

With those words, Liam’s thrusts becomes reckless and he just fucks into him with force like he is chasing his own release more than anything else. But Zayn’s knows best. Zayn knows that Liam won’t come before him, that the purpose of all of this is for Zayn to feel good, is to prove him that he is still here and that he won’t leave.

Zayn closes a hand around himself, trying to bring himself closer to the edge because he needs to come so bad and Liam’s hand joins his own quickly. Their fingers around him feels so good, that soft pressure is exactly what he needs and knowing that it’s Liam touching him, that it’s Liam inside of him, knowing that Liam is everywhere and that he loves him, that he is not leaving… He is so close he feels like he is going to burst with want.

“You feel so good Zayn. You’re perfect. If only you knew how good it feels being inside of you. Please Zayn, I wanna hear you. I want to feel your come dripping from my fingers. I wanna feel your ass clench around my cock as you come. Please. Come for me, babe.”

And his whole body goes tense, and he turns his head to look at Liam. He wants to look into Liam’s eyes but it’s too much, and he ends up closing them almost painfully as his orgasm hits him. It’s like a lightning going right through his body, everything goes white and he hears a scream that is probably his because it sounds a lot like Liam’s name. He swears he is going to pass out with how good it feels but Liam is right there, holding him right through it and whispering praises again of how beautiful he is.

He comes back to himself when he feels a sharp pain into the soft skin of his shoulder, right into his skull tattoo and Liam goes taunt behind him as he let the waves of his own orgasm crashes into him.

They stay like this for a while, Zayn looking into Liam’s eyes with his neck painfully twisted behind himself but he can’t look away yet. Not when Liam looks like that, like he just got the best orgasm of his life and Zayn was the one giving it to him. He could dance with how proud he feels if he wasn’t so exhausted.

Then Liam slips outside of him and he drops the condom somewhere on the floor and Zayn takes a mental note of throwing it in the bin later because it’s kind of gross. As soon as Liam is outside of him though, Zayn rolls into his other side to curl into Liam’s side, resting his head against the other’s chest and enjoying the frantic beating of his heart.

“You really think everything you said to me, Li?”

With fingers under his chin, Liam forces Zayn to look up into his eyes, and with his thumb he softly caresses the sharp line of Zayn’s jaw. “Every single word. I didn’t leave you, and I'n not going to either. If you want me Zayn, I'm never gonna leave. You’re stuck with me. I avoided you because it was hurting too much and I hate myself a little knowing you were just as hurt as I was.”

Zayn pushes himself up a bit, just enough for his lips to meet Liam’s, trying to erase the guilt into is eyes. He tastes even better now that everything is good between them, that everything is clear, settled, “You’re going to let me fuck you next time? Let me drive you insane?”

“Already done babe, I'm completely crazy about you.”

“Dork.” Zayn says with a snort, attaching his lips to Liam’s again and then working on a beautiful purple love bite right beside his birthmark. He is a dork yeah, but he is his dork now and Zayn doesn't want to change a single thing about it. There is an engagement to cancel and some serious conversations to have with management. He needs to clear a few other things with Liam too but for now, he is in Liam’s arms and that is the most important thing. The war inside himself is finally over, and he is more than ready to fight for the battles to come if it means that Liam is standing by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr curlymohawkliam.tumblr.com


End file.
